Welcome to the generation of Broke and Beat. Or at least it can feel like it at times. Vancouver is Canada’s most expensive city to live in and according to a Vancouver Sun article, published Nov. 8, 2023, has one of the lowest median incomes compared to 59 other comparable urban centers. Many Vancouverites live with a high degree of daily financial stress. Take that…and then add the typical pressures of daily life, from family responsibilities, potential health concerns, relationships, ecological fear, traffic, news of the world… and you have the perfect recipe for Overwhelm.
It can feel like way too much. And it is too much. Our stress levels are dictated by our system’s ability to manage the load placed on it. When that system can’t possibly meet those demands, we experience stress.
So what can do when, collectively and individually to prevent overwhelm?
Here are some ideas I have found to be both personally and professionally helpful:
Get to Know Your Window of Tolerance
The Window of Tolerance was developed by Dr. Dan Siegel and you can view an example here: Window of Tolerance.
Now, just to clarify, “tolerance” does not ever mean “tolerating” abusive behavior or situations that are damaging to your health. Tolerance here means being able to be on a crowded bus without losing it, riding through some boredom to study for a test, handle waiting in a long line at the grocery store…basically being able to manage minor daily irritations.
Your resilience is a rubber band that gets a bit stretched but bounces back, elasticity intact.
In this Window, we are at our most resilient. We are feeling grounded. We rock at being able to learn, grow, and relate to others fairly well. Our thinking is flexible, and we have the capacity for compassion and creativity. We are in the Zone of our Awesome Human Potential.
It’s like having a window that’s open to the world and all it has to offer.
There are a few tools similar to the Window of Tolerance. I just love the visuals and metaphor that this UK based practitioner, Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar created. She likens our “Window of Tolerance” to a sandwich that’s either full of filling or has gotten squashed in our backpacks by stress. The kid in me just loves that image!
Another wonderful image for thinking about your window of tolerance is the River of Wellbeing.
I encourage you to see which of these visuals help you picture your window of tolerance. I like the term “Window of Capacity” and will use it going forward.
Social Determinants of Window of Capacity
There are practices you can engage in to take care of your nervous system, body, and mind that can be undertaken individually and often at no cost. Practices such as meditation, movement suitable and enjoyable to you, breathwork, spending time in nature, practicing affirmations, spending time with an animal or human companion… just to name a few.
However, access to financial resources, a sense of community, work that does not exploit, safety in private and public spaces, adequate housing, and environmental health require communal effort. They are essential to mental health and are endangered in an overly materialistic culture.
Find folks who are allied with you so that you know you are not alone. Support organizations like: Living Wage for Families and organizations that pay a living wage: List of Living Wage Employers in Vancouver. If you are coping with socio-political-bio stressors, you deserve the highest level of self love and communal mutual support.
Learn to become aware of your states of being. We are either in our Window of Capacity or entering into the zone of Hyper-Arousal or Hypo-Arousal.
Hyper-Arousal
This is the state in which we are experiencing “fight or flight” activation. We may be more vigilant for threats, feel anxious, angry or irritable.
Basically, more things are lions threatening our survival… from the absence of a compliment for our work, the turned back of a loved one to the incredible video of someone living the BEST LIFE EVER on social media.
Our sympathetic nervous system is getting loaded up, over-active, and is dominating how we see the world. We may feel more keyed up, agitated, and overwhelmed by even seemingly small situations. Our sympathetic nervous system tries to help us by preparing us to attack or run.
Hypo-arousal
This is the state in which we are experiencing “freeze” activation. We are still more vigilant for threats. But in this scenario, our nervous system tries to cope by inducing more detachment, exhaustion, collapse, and depressive feelings. Here again, more things are lions: from the ringing of that morning alarm, to the stack of bills to pay to the creative project calling to us.
Our para-sympathetic nervous system takes over to get us to freeze or withdraw from the activating stimulus.
How Can I Get Back Into My Window of Capacity?
1. Check in on your essential needs. When we are hungry, angry, lonely and tired we tend to be activated into one or both of these states. You can download this printable for H.A.L.T. here or so ask yourself the following questions:
Are you feeling hungry?
Are you feeling angry in any way?
Are you craving connection?
Are you feeling tired?
If you answered, “yes” to any of these questions that’s a good indication to take care of that basic need first to help you get back into your Window of Capacity.
2. When you’re feeling low, sad, or struggling with an issue, enlist the aid of a compassionate friend. Ask yourself, “What would a really kind, compassionate figure say to me right now?”
This can be a simple way to access ideas for moving back towards your Window of Capacity. You can do this anytime, anywhere. With this question, the mind can start to generate fresh insight when you are feeling stuck. Here’s a visual that can help:
3. Finally, as best you can, live by the values that promote and protect your highest level of well-being physically, mentally, and socially. “Healthy” as partially defined here by the World Health Organization means that: “ The enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health is one of the fundamental rights of every human being without distinction of race, religion, political belief, economic or social condition.”
As best you can, protect the values that make your life feel good and right for you and those you love.
Ask yourself:
What are the three things you value most right now? (For example, this could be time with family and friends, peace, financial security, creativity, travel, openness, security, adventure, compassion, fairness, equity, mutual respect, growth and learning, to name a few)
What might you say “no” to right now?
What might you say “yes’ to right now?
Remember, “no” is never rude, “no” just means “not obligated.” You are never obligated to set aside your values to please another person or organization. (And if it’s still hard, remember, you have the World Health Organization on your side.)
Preventing overwhelm in a city that is a breeding ground for financial stress requires both collective and individual effort. I hope you get some inspiration to learn about yourself to better care for the unique being you are.